The Sulphur-crested Cockatoo

We have a lot of birds where I live. Most of them make beautiful sounds…all except one. The Sulphur-crested Cockatoo.

This is what the Sulphur-crested Cockatoo looks like.

cocky

Beautiful, isn’t it? (Image source: Wikipedia)

This is what the Sulphur-crested Cockatoo sounds like it looks like.cockatoo2

Yoga with Pets

I am used to being challenged during yoga, as you can see here, but recently I was tested on a whole new level.

We have had a new addition to our household which means I now have twice as many cats “assisting” me with my plank position.

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And when my core wasn’t getting an intensive workout there was the toe-licking.

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But it was impossible to be annoyed at what happened next…

yoga-and-pets4Namaste.

How To Get Revenge On Your Cat

Lately my cats have been getting on my nerves. It’s just little things they’re doing – like dragging blankets through the house (my blankets, not theirs), stealing the dog’s food, play-fighting on the couch – so violently that couch cushions end up all over the floor, scampering across the kitchen counter (I’m looking at you, Cherri) and just being generally irritating.

They have, in fact, been so annoying lately that I am starting to wonder if they have some kind of beef with me. There is a lot of debate on whether cats can be vengeful or not; some people say yes (mostly cat owners) and others say it’s not possible for a (non-human) animal to have an emotion like revenge. I tend to lean towards the side of Hell, yeah, they are!

It started me thinking… what if I decided to get revenge on my cats? Of course I wouldn’t actually do that, but if I did…how would I go about it? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

How to get revenge on your cat

1. Cats are attracted to boxes like moths to a flame. Put a giant empty box in the lounge room. The vengeful part? Make sure it is completely sealed.

box

2. Keep the door closed to just one room of the house. It will soon become the only place your cat wants to be.

mystery_room

3. Eat bacon in front of them.

bacon

4. When cats encounter something new in their environment it really freaks them out. Put an object in a place where there is normally nothing (like the hallway). It doesn’t even have to be anything scary-looking; for example, a lamp will do nicely.

they don't love lamp

5. Borrow an annoying puppy for the day.

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6. Deny access to your lap.

no-lap

If you have any more revenge ideas feel free to e-mail me. If I like your idea I’ll draw it and put it up here.

Without my Cat and Dog…

Our pets drive us crazy from time to time, but things are never boring with them around. Recently I got to thinking, what would life be like without them?

Without my cat and dog…

who would stalk me and make me feel important?

stalking_cat

 

who would kill the really big spiders?

big_spider

who would create an obstacle course for me when I come home from grocery shopping?

obstacle_cat

who would kill the giant rat I didn’t know I had?

dead_rat

who would make my yoga practice more challenging?

cat_yoga

who would alert me to the fact that a car door has been closed, somewhere?

barking

who would prevent the house from being overrun by plants?

houseplant

who would make our boring clothes look like expensive fur coats?

cat_in_dryer

…and, goodness knows, those tissues aren’t going to tear themselves up!

tissues

Yep, life would be pretty crap without them.

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My Cunning Plan

I was a pretty naughty kid and got into my fair share of trouble. My real problem was that I just never fully thought things through. Like the day I found my little sister, Christie, emptying my favourite cereal onto the kitchen floor. She was having the time of her life.

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I was horrified! This was my favourite cereal in the whole world and it was being wasted! I was so mad! I was so shocked! I was so going to tell mum!

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I turned to go, when I suddenly realised that I had a real opportunity here to get my angelic little sister into a lot of trouble. The floor didn’t really look that bad, so the first thing I had to do was completely destroy the kitchen.

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I made a game of it.

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It was kinda fun.

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When I thought the kitchen looked bad enough I ran off to tell my mum. Christie was going to be in so much trouble. For once it would be her and not me; I would be the good child! Everybody would talk about the day that my sister destroyed the kitchen and wasted all that cereal. They’d talk about how naughty she was and shake their heads in despair. I could hardly wait for my mother to come and see what she had done!

I raced into mum’s bedroom and started shrieking hysterically about what Christie had done to the kitchen and how I had tried to stop her, but she was unstoppable in her rampage!

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My mother didn’t even look up from her magazine. She just said “Oh well, be a good girl and go clean it up.”

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Not only did Christie not get into any trouble, not only did I have to clean up what can only be described as clown vomit, but I was forced to eat boring, old Weet-Bix the next morning with the full awareness that it was my own stupid fault.

Reason #37 Why I’ll Never Understand My Husband

My husband has never been one for flowery speech or effusive compliments. Which is why I really should’ve known better the other night. Anyway, here’s what happened…

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As always, my husband started to walk away, but wanting to kindle some light flirtation, I persisted.

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Several minutes later my husband returned. The look on his face told me that he knew he had finally thought of the perfect thing to say. He would give me the ultimate compliment, one that would completely undo every excruciating moment of the previous five minutes.

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Honey, I just want to say, with love, and from the bottom of my heart, sometimes a girl just needs to hear that she’s hot.

You may also like Reason #48 Why I’ll Never Understand My Husband and Reason #72 Why I’ll Never Understand My Husband