How To Get Revenge On Your Cat

Lately my cats have been getting on my nerves. It’s just little things they’re doing – like dragging blankets through the house (my blankets, not theirs), stealing the dog’s food, play-fighting on the couch – so violently that couch cushions end up all over the floor, scampering across the kitchen counter (I’m looking at you, Cherri) and just being generally irritating.

They have, in fact, been so annoying lately that I am starting to wonder if they have some kind of beef with me. There is a lot of debate on whether cats can be vengeful or not; some people say yes (mostly cat owners) and others say it’s not possible for a (non-human) animal to have an emotion like revenge. I tend to lean towards the side of Hell, yeah, they are!

It started me thinking… what if I decided to get revenge on my cats? Of course I wouldn’t actually do that, but if I did…how would I go about it? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

How to get revenge on your cat

1. Cats are attracted to boxes like moths to a flame. Put a giant empty box in the lounge room. The vengeful part? Make sure it is completely sealed.

box

2. Keep the door closed to just one room of the house. It will soon become the only place your cat wants to be.

mystery_room

3. Eat bacon in front of them.

bacon

4. When cats encounter something new in their environment it really freaks them out. Put an object in a place where there is normally nothing (like the hallway). It doesn’t even have to be anything scary-looking; for example, a lamp will do nicely.

they don't love lamp

5. Borrow an annoying puppy for the day.

annoying-puppy

6. Deny access to your lap.

no-lap

If you have any more revenge ideas feel free to e-mail me. If I like your idea I’ll draw it and put it up here.

9 thoughts on “How To Get Revenge On Your Cat

  1. Ha ha!!

    Years ago I had two kittens, I tried to keep them contained in the living room and kitchen while I was out at work by closing the hall door. But everytime I came home they’d got it open and were driving the neighbours wild, running up and down the stairs!
    I eventually worked out one jumped from the windowsill onto the handle while the other clawed with his paw at the bottom of the door!

    So I say, don’t mess with a cat!!

  2. How do you get revenge on your kitten for climbing on your chair to scratch your legs? Because it’s getting on my nerves with my kitty Cinder.

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