How To Make Everyday Afflictions Seem More Dramatic

When you’re a hypochondriac it can be rather difficult to get your family and friends to take your health concerns seriously. I mean, they’ve heard it all before, right? I figure there are many of you in the same boat as me, so after giving it some thought I believe I have finally come up with a new way to garner sympathy and coddling from your loved ones. It simply involves dressing up your words a little bit.

For example, you can make a hangover appear more legitimate (thus evoking more sympathy from others) by referring to it as “veisalgia”.

veisalgia

Painful cramps? Not anymore, now you have dysmenorrhoea!

cramps

Pins and needles?

pins and needles

Feeling itchy is for commoners!

pruritis

Hayfever Shmayfever!

hayfever

If you ever want to simply perplex your loved ones, try this…

phosphenes

…and lastly, may I present the ultimate excuse for not going into work…

sickie

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go because I have some major obdormition happening in my arse cheeks!

4 thoughts on “How To Make Everyday Afflictions Seem More Dramatic

  1. hehehehe..okay you’ve done 3 better than me..I know will need to google those 3 really difficult words you ended the post with!
    I love the dysmenorrhoea excuse..I use it all the time, the only problem is you need to time it to once a month..which can be a bummer when you need an extra day off, in the same month 😉

  2. Hilarious! Shh, am glad my hubby doesn’t read your blog. He’s a hypochondriac enough without these tips. Every case of overindulgence resulting in heartburn is suddenly a heart attack. A pain in his side is the C word, you get the picture.

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