How to Watch a Horror Movie

Remember that scene in The Evil Dead where that regular, everyday douche-bag suddenly turns into a terrifying, supernatural douche-bag? You know, this guy…

holy-crapballs

Well, every time I watch that scene I do this:

aaaaargh

Every.single.time.

Over the years I have noticed a common trait in horror movie buffs – nothing really scares them. I know there must be others like me – horror movie buffs who crap themselves through each and every scary movie – but I think we are definitely the exception. In fact, most people I know who crap themselves watching horror movies tend to avoid watching them.

My husband, daughter and I are all horror movie buffs, but they belong to the former category and sit through every horror movie looking incredibly relaxed, if not slightly bored. I am the exact opposite to them and have developed a variety of ways to get through horror movies without too much trauma; some of these include:

Not actually watching.

eyes_shut

Using husband as protection.

hold_me

Making the most of visual impairment.

no_glasses

One night a few weeks ago we were all watching a particularly scary horror film. I was doing my usual thing, feeling unbearably anxious and trying to somehow watch without actually seeing anything.

 

pillows-will-save-me

 

fingers

Tired of my endless fidgeting and my constantly asking “What’s happening – is the scary bit over yet?” my daughter handed me one of my son’s toy guns.

gun

I know it was meant to be a joke, but I took the toy gun and aimed it at the television. Immediately something came over me – a feeling of calm, a sense of, dare I say it… power.

From that moment on every time some demoniacal monstrosity erupted on screen I would shoot at it like my life depended it. It became fun and after a short time I found myself looking forward to the scary parts just so I could shoot the television.

power

Naturally, as the movie got scarier, I had to get a bigger gun.

nerf

So, if you’re a major scaredy-cat like me, try arming yourself the next time you’re watching a horror movie…trust me, it works.

Oh, and as for my zombie apocalypse nightmares, I reckon I’ve got them beat.

come_get_me

9 thoughts on “How to Watch a Horror Movie

  1. So funny hun! I’m gonna have to give this a go, I do ALL of those things to avoid seeing a scary bit whilst trying not to miss a thing. It’s exhausting LOL

  2. Brilliant! I’ll have to try that next time, or I could just stick with my current plan of vowing never to see another horror movie. That’s working for me right now.

  3. LOL. Brilliant!! I don’t cope well with horror movies at all, so I avoid them. But I like thrillers, through which I do much the same as you during a horror movie.

    Top tip from your clever daughter!

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