I know that complaining about a pimple belongs in the first world problem category, but this was no ordinary pimple – as you will soon discover.
It all started one night when I was getting ready for bed; I noticed a small, hard, red lump forming on my chin. I get them every now and then – blind pimples – no biggie, right? Sure, they’re sore and, if you squeeze them, can get a bit unsightly, but if you leave them alone they generally disappear within a few days.
It took every ounce of self-control that I had, but I resisted squeezing it – even though it got slightly bigger each day.
After a few days I realised it had started to diminish in size. In another day or two it would be gone and, for the first time in a long time, I had resisted the temptation to squeeze!
I had won…
…or so I thought. When I woke up the next morning my pimple had redoubled its strength and come back to kick my arse.
It was about mid-week when I decided I just couldn’t take anymore – my pimple was still growing and I was tired of the horrified gasps of co-workers and the constant mocking from my children. I drove home from work like a woman possessed; I had only one thing on my mind…it was time to squeeze.
My family could sense the shift in my mood. They knew something was up as I walked through the house with purpose.
My daughter followed me into the bathroom. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time.
I will spare you the image of what happened next.
As always my regret was immediate.
My chin was so destroyed there was little I could do to hide it. I tried using makeup, but it never quite blended with my skin tone and only seemed to accentuate the pimple.
With no way of hiding it, I tried different ways of distracting attention away from it.
I tried garish clothing…
a push-up bra with generous padding…
giant earrings…
…but nothing could distract from the abomination that was my chin. I had to find a way to make this sucker disappear. Google led me to some kind of zit forum where people were writing about the wonders of tea tree oil. I figured I had nothing to lose at this point, so I begged my husband to pick some up on his way home from work. I waited impatiently for it to arrive and when it did I took it with grabby hands and slathered the oil all over my bleeding open wound – yes, I had squeezed it again. Then, I waited…
…and miracle of miracles – it dried up my pimple in less than an hour!
I couldn’t believe it! It was some kind of magical cure! So I dabbed my giant ulcer all night long, bathing it generously in the tea tree oil. To say I went overboard would be a gross understatement.
I awoke the next morning to discover that not only had my dried-out pimple turned into an ugly black scab, but I had also managed to burn the crap out of the skin surrounding it by using too much tea tree oil (which I have now learned was supposed to be diluted and applied sparingly with a cotton bud).
But don’t worry, I knew exactly what to do.
First world problems really are a luxury, click here to donate to the East African Appeal.
Hahahahaha, I’m SO glad you spared us all the gruesome details.
Epic.
xx
Just be thankful it wasn’t on my bum.
Love your sense of humour and your perspective!!! Right on!
Thanks, Janet, nice to see you here 🙂
You make me laugh. Hope it’s all healed now.
It has healed, but there is scarring (mostly emotional).
First time to your site. Love your post- will have to read more! Visiting from Mummy Mahem.
Welcome, hope to see more of you 🙂
hahaha , this is me every week *laughing turns into sobs of self pity*
Well, at least now you know about tea tree oil. Just go easy on it!!!
I’m so happy I just happen to find this blog post this morning. While reading it I couldn’t stop laughing. For the past week I’ve had the blind pimple from hell. Reading your blog felt like someone was telling my story. Going to work yesterday (I’m an RN), I tried my hardest to get a skin toned bandage, positive that no one would notice I had a bulging, tan cloth square covering my chin. When asked about it, I couldn’t bring myself to use the word “zit” or “pimple” I had to use “blemish”, as if that made it better.
Thank you for sharing your hilarious story. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who’s had this problem. I look forward to reading your other posts!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it and I hope you are now blemish-free! I haven’t had a beauty like that one for a long time…fingers crossed!
By logging in you’ll post the following comment to My Epic Pimple:
I’m so happy I just happen to find this blog post this morning. While reading it I couldn’t stop laughing. For the past week I’ve had the blind pimple from hell. Reading your blog felt like someone was telling my story. Going to work yesterday (I’m an RN), I tried my hardest to get a skin toned bandage, positive that no one would notice I had a bulging, tan cloth square covering my chin. When asked about it, I couldn’t bring myself to use the word “zit” or “pimple” I had to use “blemish”, as if that made it better.
Thank you for sharing your hilarious story. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who’s had this problem. I look forward to reading your other posts!
⬆️Sorry, I copied and pasted my post from my email, didn’t mean to include the top portion of my
post. . . . having an awesome week. 😬