I was not a pretty child when I was five. I had a really bad hair-cut, big, ugly glasses and, for several months, a giant, brown eye-patch over my right eye (to try and strengthen the left one – which didn’t work). I wanted so desperately to be beautiful. If I were beautiful people would love me and buy me presents and I would be a better person all-round. Yep, in my five year-old mind, life would be all rainbows and ice-cream if only I were beautiful.
I remember my first day of school very well because it was the day I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life.
This is what she looked like.
She had gigantic green eyes with long black lashes, long, jet-black, wavy hair and ivory skin. She looked like a princess and that was exactly how I saw her.
I was incredibly drawn to her because, from everything Disney and every fairy-tale I had ever read had taught me, I knew that her nature would match her beauty. Why, she must be the kindest girl in the whole school! So, even though I was incredibly shy, I knew that she would be sweet and nice and set off immediately to introduce myself.
This is how it went down.
By the way, if you think I’m exaggerating about how utterly goofy I looked, here’s my class photo from grade one.
You turned out to be a hottie though…you little friend probably married a bogan, has six kids, is living on the dole and can no longer lift her massive frame off of the couch.
That “hottie” remark will get you everywhere.
Hahaha, I couldn’t wait to scroll down and see how you’d drawn yourself! Geez you were cute. But why, WHY did Mum do that to your hair??
I know, right!
We thought she was pretty cute too, don’t blame “Mum” for the hair-cut, blame the Hairdresser!
Yes, but why did you keep taking me back there, Mum? 😉
The look on your face in the last drawing is priceless! I think Michael is right. She probably hasn’t won any nobel peace prizes lately.
Truth be told, I was gutted!
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Oh you were still gorgeous honey. And what Shelly and Michael say!
Thank you. You don’t happen to have beer-goggles on, do you? 😉
Cool and beautiful story.
I’m sure you realise the person you are today is a direct result of the be-speckled kid with the nerdy haircut. Without her, you wouldn’t be.
Love your stories and art.
Very true and thank you.
I agree that she’s probably some skanky trailer trash now.
I love the pictures.
Thanks, Mel! x
This is great!
Mini flufflepot is cute! All the ‘lovely’ (pretty but evil bitches) girls that I was in school with look like hounds of hell now, Karma is a bitch 🙂
I’d rather have a kind heart than look like a princess. Too bad you can’t hold a mirror up to someone’s heart.