Brutal Life Lesson #1

I was not a pretty child when I was five. I had a really bad hair-cut, big, ugly glasses and, for several months, a giant, brown eye-patch over my right eye (to try and strengthen the left one – which didn’t work). I wanted so desperately to be beautiful. If I were beautiful people would love me and buy me presents and I would be a better person all-round. Yep, in my five year-old mind, life would be all rainbows and ice-cream if only I were beautiful.

I remember my first day of school very well because it was the day I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life.

This is what she looked like.

girl

She had gigantic green eyes with long black lashes, long, jet-black, wavy hair and ivory skin.Β She looked like a princess and that was exactly how I saw her.

princess

I was incredibly drawn to her because, from everything Disney and every fairy-tale I had ever read had taught me, I knew that her nature would match her beauty. Why, she must be the kindest girl in the whole school! So, even though I was incredibly shy, I knew that she would be sweet and nice and set off immediately to introduce myself.

This is how it went down.

me

the_bird

me2

By the way, if you think I’m exaggerating about how utterly goofy I looked, here’s my class photo from grade one.

002

18 thoughts on “Brutal Life Lesson #1

  1. You turned out to be a hottie though…you little friend probably married a bogan, has six kids, is living on the dole and can no longer lift her massive frame off of the couch.

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Brutal Life Lesson #1 Β» Flufflepot -- Topsy.com

  3. Cool and beautiful story.
    I’m sure you realise the person you are today is a direct result of the be-speckled kid with the nerdy haircut. Without her, you wouldn’t be.
    Love your stories and art.

  4. Mini flufflepot is cute! All the ‘lovely’ (pretty but evil bitches) girls that I was in school with look like hounds of hell now, Karma is a bitch πŸ™‚

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