“Boy with Bindle”

My tabby has only managed to successfully bring me to the floor once – not for lack of trying!

My son is absolutely obsessed with Spielberg’s War of the Worlds (2005). I had to watch it for about the tenth time with him this afternoon, not that I minded too much if I’m honest.

This one’s for you, Daniel. <3

and stood their troops upon the ground.

When dawn did come the humans saw

their top position was no more.

The invaders from a distant land

now had every Earthling in hand.

Although in victory they felt secure

their celebration was premature.

There was one Earthly weapon, you see

One well-known to you and me.

It would be our oppressors’ ultimate undoing

t’would leave them weak, soft and cooing.

When they were no more than putty in hand

from the invaders we wrested back our land.

They vowed never to return and to their ships, made haste

when their leader turned back – his fingers interlaced.

With pleading eyes he said, “I beg of you…a parting gift?

I know it’s not deserved and you’re rightly quite miffed.”

The Earth folk decided, with peace and goodwill in mind

we chose to gift them with some of our kind.

For alien or otherwise, there is no being (or ’tis a being to pity)

can resist the friendship and love of a kitty.

“Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.”

- Jeff Wayne, The Eve of the War

“It’s okay, we’ve got kitties.”

- Flufflepot

I am actually a big fan of The Walking Dead. I haven’t given up on the series (as many others seem to have done) and don’t believe that it’s doomed. In fact, after watching the finale of season two I am extremely optimistic about the next installment – it looks like it’s going to be awesome…it just has to be!

Right?

So, this is how I see my pets…

…and I’m pretty sure this is how they see me.

No matter how many times I vacuum, my animals react in the same exact way every single time. With total, unadulterated terror. So, I drew up a sketch based on how I think my pets see me when I vacuum.

I’ve been very busy with my art of late and thought I’d better post some of it! But first – don’t forget to check out my latest comics! If you like zombies click here and if you like kitties click here. Oops, I may have mixed up those links.

The below picture is an updated version of this and I am pretty happy with the result. It’s really interesting to go back over old work from when I first started using Illustrator. A lot of the time I’m thinking “Argh, what a mess!”

I can’t go on a drawing frenzy without including some zombies

I even gave myself a makeover…

I Wonder who this Woman is?!

Well, that’s all for now. xx

(FYI I am using CS5 and a PC.)

In order to show you how incredibly useful clipping masks are I am going to create a simple mushroom house.

Step 1. Create a nice green hill using the pen tool. (I like to have my artboard on, it just makes life easier.)

Step 2. Using the rectangle tool, create the stalk of the mushroom.

Step 3. If you hold down the rectangle tool button you can choose another shape. Select the ellipse and create a nice red circle. (Hold the “shift” key down at the same time and you will get a perfect circle.)

Step 4. Go back and select the rectangle tool and create a rectangle over the red circle (it doesn’t matter what colour).

Step 5. Select both the circle and the rectangle and go to “pathfinder”. Select the “minus front” option. This will remove the shape of the rectangle from the circle, creating the top of the mushroom.

Step 6. Place the mushroom top on the stalk, while it is still selected go to > Edit > Copy, then > Edit > Paste in Front. This pastes another mushroom top directly in front of the original mushroom top. Select both mushroom tops and go to Object > Clipping Mask > Make. If you look in your Layers panel you will see that the mushroom top is now in a group. Expand the group and you will see two layers, the top one is now the clipping mask.

Basically, anything you place between (this is important) those two layers will be inside the clipping mask (which is the exact shape of the mushroom top). So now the fun begins.

Step 7. Create a lot of white circles, varying in size and place them randomly on top of the mushroom top. Select the magic wand tool and click on one of the circles, this will select them all (because they are all the same fill colour).

Step 8. Go to Edit > Cut, then select the direct selection tool and click on the mushroom top.

Step 9. Go to > Edit > Paste in Front, then select the magic wand tool again and change the opacity of the white spots to about 90%.

Step 10. Create a nice orange Sun in the top right-hand corner. This will help you figure out your highlights and shadows. Over the top of the mushroom create a shape – this is going to be a highlight. Use the eyedropper tool to select the same colour as the mushroom top, then open the colour picker and choose a slightly lighter shade.

Step 11. Now cut the highlight and paste it directly in front of the mushroom top (using the same method as in step 8). Still using the direct selection tool click on the highlight and go to  Effect > Blur > Gaussian Blur and blur it about 50%.

Step 12. Using the exact same method, create a shadow for the other side of the mushroom top, just select a slightly darker colour. Your mushroom should look something like this…

Step 13. Using the ellipse and rectangle tools create a cute little window.

Step 14. Add a nice blue sky using the rectangle tool, select it and go to Object > Arrange > Send to Back.

Step 15. Go nuts! Now that you know how to do clipping masks you can go crazy with them!

If you finish this tutorial I would love to see what you create, so please hook me up with a link. Also, feedback is very welcome.

…why ghosts are scarier than zombies

Reason #1 You can’t kill a ghost.

I know exactly how to kill a zombie…

…but how the hell do you kill a ghost?

Reason #2 Ghosts make horrible neighbours.

Imagine you lived next door to a haunted house…

What happens if your ball goes into their yard? You’re screwed!

Now, imagine you lived next door to a house full of zombies…

Considering the fact that zombies are mentally incapable of understanding the mechanics behind opening a door or window, living next door to them would be at best hilarious and at worst, a bit on the noisy side (and at least you can get your ball back).

Reason #3 Ghosts are malevolent and cruel.

Think about it…who would you rather have visit you in the dead of night, that ghost girl from The Ring…

Or this guy? Sure, he’s not pretty, but he’s not there to haunt you until you go insane, he’s just a bit peckish is all.

Reason #4 Ghosts are very, very sneaky.

Zombies are terrible hiders.

Reason #5 You don’t hear anyone telling zombie stories around the campfire.

They’re just not that scary.

Reason #6 Ghosts might actually exist.
It seems that almost everyone claims to have seen, or felt the presence of, a ghost at some point in their life.

Nobody has ever claimed to have seen a zombie.

They have, in fact, been so annoying lately that I am starting to wonder if they have some kind of beef with me. There is a lot of debate on whether cats can be vengeful or not; some people say yes (mostly cat owners) and others say it’s not possible for a (non-human) animal to have an emotion like revenge. I tend to lean towards the side of Hell, yeah, they are!

It started me thinking… what if I decided to get revenge on my cats? Of course I wouldn’t actually do that, but if I did…how would I go about it? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

How to get revenge on your cat

1. Cats are attracted to boxes like moths to a flame. Put a giant empty box in the lounge room. The vengeful part? Make sure it is completely sealed.

2. Keep the door closed to just one room of the house. It will soon become the only place your cat wants to be.

3. Eat bacon in front of them.

4. When cats encounter something new in their environment it really freaks them out. Put an object in a place where there is normally nothing (like the hallway). It doesn’t even have to be anything scary-looking; for example, a lamp will do nicely.

5. Borrow an annoying puppy for the day.

6. Deny access to your lap.

If you have any more revenge ideas feel free to e-mail me. If I like your idea I’ll draw it and put it up here.

I had a banana bread recipe published on one of my all-time favourite sites: They Draw and Cook. If you haven’t been there yet, it is the most incredible Website filled with mouth-watering recipes and stunning artwork; two awesome combinations (in my humble opinion).

Click the recipe to see it on the site.

I drew a mermaid and went crazy with colour.

I drew a caricature for a friend who is turning fifty this week and looks about thirty-five! I hope she likes it.

By the way, I am always open for commissions. All I need is a good, clear photo and I can put your loved one in any situation - whether you want them wearing a cowboy outfit or want to see them surrounded by monsters – I can make it happen!

…my son asked about Mrs. Wolowitz.

He went quiet for a moment while I reminisced about other unseen characters such as ‘er indoors and Dr. Claw

Then suddenly…

Oh well, at least I know he has an imagination.

About ten minutes after my tirade I came back to inspect his progress only to find his bedroom door closed and this note stuck to it:

Then, when I find myself alone, it’s always a bit of a shock…

…until reality sinks in.

Then it’s just a matter of deciding what to do…

Pull out my recipe books and cook some exotic, gourmet meal?

Wade through the masses of paperwork that needs filing?

Yoga?

That’s it! Yoga always makes me feel amazing afterward. I am totally getting my workout clothes on and…

The second is my version of Snow White – imagined using the hauntingly beautiful look of the big-eyed Blythe Doll.

Also, have an awesome Christmas.