How To Relate To Your Teenager – Part Three

As the parent of a teenager you will one day have to face the inevitable. You’ll have to face the fact that there will eventually come a day when you’ll realise that your teenager is smarter and physically stronger than you are. They will know more about the world and about stuff in general (like how to work your iPhone) than you could have ever hoped to when you were their age. Don’t feel bad about it, it means you’ve done a great job; it’s a good thing, trust me. The important thing is you must never let them know this.

With that in mind I have compiled a list of things to say for when you realise that your teenager is right and you are, once again, wrong.

There’s always the old favourite, “Because I said so” (Although I’ve found that beyond the age of two or three most children will not accept this as a valid response. It’s always worth a try, though.)

My personal favourite, “You’re just too young to understand, but some day you will look back on this moment and realise the truth” (The truth being that your mum is more than a little bit full of shit.)

Then there’s, “I don’t have to explain myself, this is my house” (They know you’re wrong, but they can’t argue with the fact that it’s your house.)

If all else fails you can always use this timeless classic, “Go to bed”.

Your teenager may be smarter and stronger than you, but they still need you. You have something they don’t…about three or four decades of mistake making. This is why it is so important to not let them know about their being smarter and stronger than you; you want them to look up to you and come to you for advice and, let’s face it, the last person we want to go to for advice is somebody we’ve deemed puny and stupid. Which is why I never accept arm wrestling challenges from my daughter, she’d totally take me down.

Tip #3 This tip, although not directly related to the above post, is still a very important one. Never, EVER let your teenage daughter know that her nightly impression of that dead girl from The Ring scares the absolute crap out of me, I mean…you.

How To Relate To Your Teenager – Part One

How To Relate To Your Teenager – Part Two